Goodbye Till 8/14

         So I quickly packed a bag with what first comes to mind. the essentials: a good book, an excellent pen, a million and one bobby pins (because God knows I need them all) and a tube of chapstick. Uhhuh. No sweat. I've said goodbye to the important people. My puppies. My car, Genie. The Fed Ex guy. The most difficult part of leaving was looking for my sun glasses. They were in my car last. Ah well... Now I'm about to peace out to Mexico. 
         If only that was true. Lets try this again... So it took me three agonizing days to pack. Asking myself ridiculous questions like "Will I want to wear heels to church?" And "Will holey jeans offend my host family?" One medium size suitcase later... I'm still questioning my toiletry choices. Penciled in among post office.bank.target.financial aid office.graduations, I've said goodbyes to the people that love me the most. My mom. CABS*. Holly. My fellowship. You. Amidst alllathat I've been struggling with deciphering God's promises from the enemy's lies. I'm struggling with: Loneliness. "No one understands how I feel right now." Distractions. I have about four broken relationships that have sprouted up within two weeks of leaving (But praise the Lord 3/4's of those relationships have been mended.). Inadequacy: If I'm not even important enough to do _____, then how am I qualified to be a missionary? Selfloathing, "I suck. I'm selfish. I'm everything God wouldn't want me to be." But ya know what, my weaknesses make God's sovereignty perfect. I'm ready to be emptied out so that God can just use me as a tool. So yes, I'm a frantic out of control mess. But I can be, because I know Someone who is in control! 


Also, God finally gave me a missions/vision statement for this summer.
to love. and to receive.


verses for this summer:
2 Corinthians 12:9
John 13:35




* Candice Angela Blessie