Weekend!

So this weekend has been really amazing. I dont even know where to start!

Thursday: Blessie, Angela, and I went to CoCo's Chocolate Lounge. It's this really trendy bar that serves chocolate everything! We ordered chocolate fondue. It was served with bread we could dip, which me and Angela thought was really gross (BREAD AND CHOCOLATE EWW!) but Blessie will eat anything. There was speed dating going on so we just sat and judged the daters. Blessie and I are gonna go speed dating one day. While we were there I blew out the candle and I tried to relight it and Blessie was screaming "this is so unclassy this is so unclassy this is so unclassy." Everyone there thought we were lesbians. So we're definitly going back.

Friday: Me and Angela saw HP6!!! Angela made me sprint after we got out tickets cut so that we could get good seats. I was so embarrased because we were basically cutting in front of everyone. But hey at least we got good seats, right? There were two parts that I have dubbed my favorites but only because me and Angela laughed through them. When Harry and Ron stand on the side of the hallway during their freeperiod laughing... They just looked dumb! And when Harry is convincing Slughorn to come with him to see Hagrid.. "Then by all means come with me, professor." His back is hunched and he looks so creepy. Me and Angela dressed up. I was Harry Potter himself and she was Hermoine. I didnt talk to much in the theatre. Success.

Saturday: Me and Blessie had a whimsical day! We went to Austin and did whatever our hearts desired. On our visit, we met our first transvestite. He was a very believable girl but he gave it away when he talked. :/ I would totally be besties with himher because his nailpolish was RIDIC and I loved it. We decided to see what the bigdeal about 6th street is. Apparently thats where people go to get drunk. They even ran out of bar names and were just naming them crazy stuff! So when we saw The Aquarium, Blessie really thought it was an aquarium. It was just a bar. LET DOWN! Keep Austin Whimiscal!


Today is Sunday and I'm at my dad's house for the first time in months. I actually really love my family today. That's all for now!

Beloved

I love you so much... that sometimes I lift my arms to the sky and I feel the love flow from my heart to my fingertips where it flies off with such speed that even the rooftops and the treetops are drenched with LOVE and with POWER. And some of that love, I admit, gets caught in the crooks of my elbows, and in between the crevices of my fingers. I take those remains and place them in an indistinguishable, plain, brown box. And I make up an address. Any address. For instance, 1234 Maple Street. And thats where I send my love. But by the time it reaches this fabricated destination there is no love left in that parcel. For it has all seeped through onto other letters and the postman's hands. And as the receiver of the gift opens this package his expression will go from confused... to perplexed for all that is left is the whisper of your name.

Memoirs.

"Loss and possession, Death and life are one. There falls no shadow where there shines no sun."

There has been a lot of loss in my life lately. Among the loss, I've had two people that I care deeply about pass away.

Esther: I only met you once but you have been my friend for six years. I've known you healthy and I've known you sick. I've heard your story one time, two times, sixty times. I've laughed when I knew you were laughing (as you often did in life) and I've cried when you were laughing in heaven. You were such a joyful spirit; your smile was brighter than the smile of a bride at her bachelorette party! From now on you will always be an inspiration to me. Tell Jesus I'm coming!

Nana Stella: I remember spending the night at your house so that you could take me to Sea World the next morning. But sometime before I fell asleep I got scared and asked my mom to come pick me up. You cried. I wish I had stayed the night because it would have given me one more night with you! I love you so much. The advice you gave me on whom I should marry "MAKE SURE HE'S JEWISH!", may not be followed to a T but I will always have a love and a passion for all things Jewish because of you. I'll remember you every Hanukkah.

But amongnst the death something amazing has happened. 18 years ago my dad and his brother got in a fist fight. My mom was pregnant with me and planned to name me Rachelle. But my uncle said "NO! I call that name for my future daughter." A silly all-in-fun fist fight occurred and obviously my uncle won, for my name is Sosina. But yesterday July 7, 2009, Rachel Haile was born!

Rachel: The moment I saw your face I wanted to grab you and put you in a closet or something to keep you safe! I never want you to be of this world. Remember that you are only IN it. You are God's child. I love you so much already. You're beautiful and don't ever feel that you're not. I'm here to protect you and guide you for the rest of your life. I can't wait till your old enough so that we can sit and have coffee and talk about Harry Potter. I love you Tigger!

Hope?

Isaiah 40:31
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles!



This verse was supposed to give me HOPE through a really bad breakup. But I almost feel like it took my hope away.

Silly as it sounds, every year I have a new "idea" I like to push on people. 2007 it was JOY. 2008 it was UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 2009 I have been focused on HOPE. (Nothing to do with Obama though.) So all year I've had this amazing amount of hope running through my veins. I had wishes and dreams and with those came pure hope. So I'm going through a hard time right now. I'm still 100% full of joy that I pull straight from the King of Kings himself. And I still feel a powerful love for those who I feel have wronged me through this difficult time. But I've lost the hope... At one point I felt like I had it! Until I read Isaiah 40:31 and realize what I had was desperation and not hope. I dont feel like I am on the wings of eagles...
So I wrote a silly little poem on my lunch break at work.

If hope lives on the wings of eagles
then I will climb into the branches of a tree.
Because I need to SEE this.
So I'm waiting on this cliff.
Waiting.
Waiting.
And I jump-- and we're soaring!
Nestled between two grand shoulder blades,
tapioca and brown colored feathers
tickle my bare legs,
stick out from my curls,
and make my nose wiggle with sneezy anticipation.
BUT I WILL NOT BE BOTHERED!
I look to the left.
I search on the right.
But there is no hope here.
I'm just a fool with no way down.